Hello anyone who has been reading "the biscuit's" blog. This is Dr. Epstein, Andy's(the biscuit) psychotherapist here at the hospital where he is staying. Andy is a very seriously deranged young man and I dare say is on the verge of copmlete neural degrodation. I discovered his writing when I collected his things from his room, as he has been moved into another room for medical treatment. I'm sorry that he revealed all the particulars of his life to the public as these are things that should be kept between himself and his doctor. Thank you,
Dr. Epstein

I do not feel good cause the doctor says I'm running at both ends. I am tired

Dr. Epstein said I was in a special room in the hotel called the ER cause my heart stopped working. It would go boom boom and then it wouldn't make any noises. Now I know why my jew friend said I am a gentle pig, cause they had to put one of a pig heart in me instead of mine. That is cool cause I am a pig man now. It is like a Beatle song where the man says, "I am the pigman, coo coo ca choo."

A lady is by my room a lot. She has a long candy cane stick. I think so cause it is red and white. She taps it on the ground always and once she went down the stairs onto her head. I think she is a real dare devil.

There was a man at breakfast today. He said he is "jewish." I said, "Hello kike" cause my dad said that is a funny word for a jew person. His face was pretty cause it was red next. Then he said I am a "gentle pig." I think pigs are gentle, but I am not fat. I think we will be friends cause we already have nicknames for each other.

There was a girl on TV who was a gymnastics person. She was real good. In a movie she was thirsty when she washed her clothes I think. It was a pretty blue drink. It also went on her clothes. But she really liked it. I found some in the laundry room at the hotel. The drink bottle said "Cheer" on it. It is ok, but they only give you a small cup to use.

A lady was in the dinner place in my hotel. She said her water broke. But that is werid cause water is soft I think. But someone said that it was probably frozen.

There were two dogs outside my window in the morning. They were running around. Then they played 'horse and rider' for a long time. That is a fun game I think. Once, I went in my mom and dad's room cause I had a bad dream and they were playing 'horse and rider'. But then they stopped.

Nirvana is the coolest band ever. They have guitars and drums too. The singers name was Kurt. He was really brave cause he got shot. My friend Danny is a police man and once he got shot. I said, "You are cool cause you are just like the man from Nirvana." Danny is even cooler cause he has a wheelchair.

The man maid told me about a new TV show. Cause I was watching Rugrats and I said it is really funny. The man said Rugrats "is about as funny as a baby with cancer." Babies are really good characters in shows.

My room smells funny. I tried to open the window but there is metal wires in front of it, so I couldn't. The maid said it smelled funny too. Then she went around the room, but she didn't clean anything. She put her head under my bed. It was weird cause next she went right to the bathroom. She was making splashing sounds. After a minute a man maid came and was cleaning under my bed. I told him those things came out of my mouth last night.

Once my mom said to my dad to leave and go to hell. He came back in the morning and his hair was messed up a lot and his eye balls had red lines on them. My dad said mom was going to pay, but she doesn't have a job, so that's weird.

Boy I was sure sick after dinner. In my room my tummy was making funny sounds. It was not on purpose, but some things and water came out of my mouth really fast. But I pushed it all under my bed so the maid won't have to clean it up.

The butler came to get me for breakfast. He must have got in a big fight cause his lip had metal going into it. I said, "There is metal in your lip." And he said, "No shit Sherlock." That made me feel good because after Donahue, Sherlock Holmes is my favorite TV character.

All the TV channels today had a man talking. A lot of people were looking at the man. On channel 11, a big lady was in front by the man. The man blew at her face and she fell down. He is like superman.

I am watching a cool show called Cops. There was a man running away from a policeman. He didn't have a shirt on and he is all brown, even his face. That is TV magic I guess.

At breakfast they said that bacon is a pig and eggs are chickens. They are fooling me cause these are too small to be a pig or chicken. Plus they aren't even moving. Plus pigs and chickens have legs. This "bacon" doesn't have legs. They really like jokes here.

Always when I wake up, my private part is bloated. I don't like it cause it is in the way. I asked the butler man what I should do. He said, "You have to jerk it off." Well, I tried that but it hurt real bad. And I pulled pretty hard. So I bet he was joking about jerking it off. He sure fooled me!

Wow, I just had a scary dream. I was on a chair by a bunch of people. They were all looking at me. I told them they better watch Phil Donahue or else. Then they chased me and I think they wanted to hurt me. My feet didn't move too fast, so they caught me. When I looked at them, they all had scary faces with slobber coming out of their mouths. One woman bit my nose. It was in her mouth. I couldn't smell anything. But then I woke up. I'm glad I'm really in a hotel room and not with those people.

My calender says I am meeting with Dr. Epstein tomorrow. He has a really, really nice room at the hotel. His room has wood and lots of fun things like these balls that make each other move back and forth when you push them. He was the first person I met when I came to the hotel. We went to his room first and he said, "Tell me how you are feeling." I said, "I feel like peeing." He said, "I understand." He's my friend.

It's funny about glass. It is strong as the wall, but you can see through it. I saw a movie once where a guy put glass into his arm. It made him bleed. He looked funny because all the water in the bathtub was red. A lady was the next character. She was mad I guess because he wouldn't talk to her.

One of the attendants just came to my room. He said that I am laughing at the TV too loud. But he was nice cause he said he'd give me something to laugh about if I kept it up.

The TV news person just said that the "pillow" is sending suicide people to hurt Israelites. They sound like a sissy group with a name like that.

My new E! magazine came just now and it says that Donahue is coming back to the television. He is my favorite TV character. Not only is he funny, but he is gosh awful sincere.

I just got back from the toilet. There was this stuff my mom used at home to cover casserole, but the hotel attendants said to put it on the seat so that it is "sanitary." That's funny. I wonder if my mom sits on it at home.

My parents sent me a "get well soon" letter. I didn't know I was ill. They let me stay in this fancy hotel. Everything is soft and round here.